Nupur Chaturvedi

Why?

Shy and reserved
Shy and reserved
What do you hide
In your closed mind?

Alone and ashamed
Alone and ashamed
Did we fail you
In every way?

Insane and enraged
Insane and enraged
Did you really see
No other route to take?

Avenged and seized
Avenged and seized
Have you achieved
What you set out to do?

Why?

[Reaction to TV reports of Colorado shooting, with the shooter described by former friend as shy and reserved. Also a reaction to increasingly violent outburst of shy and reserved, often isolated individuals.]

Broken shells

Shards of broken shells,
Like glass pierce my skin
And stay there as reminders
Of a time spent by the waves
The thrilling breakers tugging at my guts
Making me take risks I otherwise wouldn’t
Leaping to dodge a wave
Getting thrown about when I can’t
I come up sputtering, gasping and laughing
And then look at you sitting by the rocks
Keeping a watch.
You often said ‘learn to swim’
I tried, half-hearted, scared, lazy, gave up
That day, you were laughing
‘The waves are more powerful than you
You should have learnt to harness them’
But the kick of being tossed around by the waves
Kept me going, though that was not all.
You were bruised, but I knew
You knew how to harness the waves
You wouldn’t let me drown.
We collected shells later and brought them home.
Today, I crushed one.
I suppose that’s how it goes
With each passing year
They will be crushed one by one
Till there are no more.
Today they hurt, tomorrow they won’t.
And then it would be time to pick more shells.
But I still can’t swim.

The season of unease and disquiet

The season of unease
Creeps up unnoticed
The mind creates mirages
Seeking solace in illusions
And truth is hidden
Beneath layers of disquiet
Shall I peel them off?
Or shall I let rose-tinted glasses
Render the blues pink?
That which is revealed
May be sordid but true.
But is truth everything?
When life itself is a myth
Why hold truth supreme?
The season of disquiet
Of still curtains awaiting storms
Is upon me.
I choose to close windows for now.